I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
