Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
