I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
