if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
