Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
