Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
