I just saw a hot homeless man
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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