Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
