Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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