it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
