I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
