Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
