Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
