Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
