went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
