I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
