IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
