"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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