what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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