Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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