Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
