So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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