I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
