whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
