Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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