I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
false alarm. still invincible.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
