U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
