Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
