Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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