dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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