i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
