i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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