it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
