OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
