I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
