I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
