i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
