One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
