I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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