The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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