The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
