I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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