no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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