The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
