sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
