i think my tv is drunk
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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