walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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