I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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