Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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