I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
